Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
