ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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