Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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