On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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