dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
