It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
