I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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