Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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