I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
