he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
