I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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