Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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