hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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