I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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