he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
