we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
