So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
