He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize