3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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