p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
