we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
please come you make the beer taste better
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
