Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
