Kiss
Puke
we have officially lost it.
I bet he comes in French.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
