Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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