You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
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