Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
