I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
