the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
