Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
