i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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