it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
