I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Please don't give away my fajitas
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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