im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
