I can't watch pbs sober anymore
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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