She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I wish i was in the wii world.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
