I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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