don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You may now shotgun with the bride
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
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