My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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