I'm going to jail i love you
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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