Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
