Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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