Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
