No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
