the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
