guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
