i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
