....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize