Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
