If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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