So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
