how can u be prego again
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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