Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
