He kissed a someone with a penis
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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