The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I love having hate sex.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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