yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
He is an equal opportunity slut.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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