My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
