My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
