hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
