Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
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