Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
