p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
