I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
