All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize