I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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