my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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