If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
