hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
