I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
