Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
