we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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